Five Needs of a Homeschool Parent

by Jessica Frierson, March 2023

 

When parents consider homeschooling their children, one of the first questions they ask is, “What will I need?” Depending on who you ask, you will get a wide range of answers. After more than twenty years of homeschooling, I can narrow that down to five solid needs.

 

1. Inspiration/Calling

 

If you listen to homeschoolers talking about why they started homeschooling, you will hear many say something like, “I felt called to bring them home,” or “we felt a calling to teach them ourselves.” Others are inspired by observing another family doing it or by something they have read. Some discover homeschooling as a solution to problems their child is having at their public school, such as bullying, unfavorable socialization affecting their child, or observing that their child is not thriving academically. Whatever draws you to the idea of home education plants a seed of inspiration inside your heart. 

 

This initial sense of “calling” will grow stronger as you learn more about the benefits of homeschooling. It will also be tested in every moment of discouragement you go through. You will cling to it when Doubting Debbie asks why you think you are capable of teaching your children and when Scrutinizing Sue tries to give your children a pop quiz every time she visits. Check out this series of blog posts to boost your confidence with ten great reasons to choose homeschooling.

Write down the reasons that you have for wanting to homeschool. Use this to create a vision statement. Then, at the beginning of each school year, read over it and add any new points of inspiration you have had. Remembering these reasons will renew your resolve each time you begin to waver. And believe me; these moments will come…and far too often! Homeschooling is not a magical salve that heals every wounded heart, a quick fix to every child’s learning difficulties, or the secret ingredient to raising perfect children. (Hint: none of those exist.) But every time the doubts arise, you can confidently answer that voice of fear and uncertainty that you are doing just what you are called to do.

 

 

2. Knowledge

“Knowledge is power,” wrote Thomas Hobbes in 1668. Proverbs 24:5 puts it this way: “…a man of knowledge increases strength.” Knowledge will be a source of strength and power to your homeschool – but not necessarily in the way you may first think. You do NOT have to know everything that your child will study over the years. You do not need a college degree, special training, or even a solid understanding of how to do algebra and chemistry. 

 

What you DO need to know and what will give you power are these simple things:

• The legal requirements for homeschooling. Read the laws for yourself so that you will be fully informed. Then read this blog post that explains them. To make it easy for yourself, open that blog post first since it contains links to the North Carolina statutes that apply to homeschools.
• Where to go for help and guidance. I suggest that you bookmark the NCHE website and visit it often. Our mission is to help parents homeschool with confidence and joy. We exist to give you the help and guidance you need to homeschool successfully. We even have mentors available to help you!
• What you want out of your homeschool. Every family is unique, with different needs, values, approaches to learning, and life goals. Each child differs as well, so this will vary for each of them. For example, a child who dreams of becoming a missionary one day may take a different path through their homeschool years than a child who endeavors to have a career in medicine. College or career preparedness may not be a goal for some children with special needs. The best aspect of homeschooling is that each parent gets to create a plan perfectly suited to their child’s unique hopes, dreams, and needs.

3. Framework

Using what inspired you to consider homeschooling and the knowledge you have gained, you can build a framework for your homeschool. First, decide what hours of the day and what days of the week you will hold school. Just remember to stay flexible. Next, roughly plan out the months you will have school, keeping in mind that the only requirement is that your school operates on a regular schedule over nine calendar months of the year. You can use a planner, a notebook, a wall calendar, or any other planning system that suits you.

 

Have fun figuring out your “style” of homeschooling and the learning style of each of your children. There are many resources available online to help you with either of these, such as this guide to finding your homeschool method or this article on children’s learning styles. The NCHE mp3 library has several recordings available from past conference seminars about discovering your child’s learning style. Read about the joy of watching your child learn through the mode that works best for them in this blog post. 

 

4. Resources

Once your heart is set on homeschooling, you’ve learned how to set up a homeschool, and you have determined the framework for your schooling, it is time to find the resources to make it happen. A common request on homeschool social media groups is for people to share photos of their school room. While it can be fun to set up a Pinterest-worthy room, this is by no means necessary – or even preferable for many families. Few of us have the spare room and money to do this, and those who can often quickly realize that they end up doing what the rest of us were doing all along: snuggling together on the sofa, spreading a blanket in the backyard, swinging in a hammock under a shady tree, each kid sitting on their bed (even if they have a desk in their bedroom), or, most common, gathering around the dining room table. 

 

So what do you really need? A comfortable place to sit, shelves to hold your materials, some empty wall space for posters or to display children’s artwork (not necessary, but nice to have), school supplies such as pencils and paper or notebooks, and some sort of curricula. You can borrow books from the library, use online materials, order textbooks, or use video content. Go back to your framework and the homeschooling method that seemed to fit your family. Look for teaching materials that fit this method. For example, Ambleside Online has many free resources for those favoring a Charlotte Mason approach. Those leaning more toward the classical method might be interested in joining a Classical Conversations group. These are just a couple of the many avenues you could choose. Most families merge ideas from several philosophies to suit their family’s unique needs and interests. 

 

The absolute best way to procure your homeschool curricula is by visiting the vendor hall at our annual state conference. There you will be able to look over many options of materials for every subject from numerous publishers. You can look over those Charlotte Mason-style books you were considering to see if they were what you expected or see which level of Saxon math your child needs. You can even meet and talk with the authors of many of them. I have completely changed my course of direction after spending an afternoon in the vendor hall. Bonus: you save on shipping costs since you can take your purchases home that day. 

 

If you can’t make it to the Thrive! Conference to check out the vendor hall, you may be able to find a smaller-scale version at a homeschool supply store. Several cities across the state have second-hand bookstores that cater specifically to homeschool materials. Don’t feel pressured to have every book for every subject right away. You can ease your way into everything. Also, don’t think you are trapped if the materials you got aren’t a good fit; you can always try something new if it doesn’t work out. Borrowing books from another homeschool family for a trial run is very helpful if you have the opportunity to do so.

 

The last resource you need goes back to my statement that you don’t have to fully understand algebra, chemistry…or any other subject to successfully homeschool your children. You know why? Because although you determine what subjects your child will study and set the scope and sequence of their studies, you don’t have to be the one to teach every subject. You can use any outside resource that works for your needs. You can hire a tutor, use online lessons, swap out with a friend, or do anything else that works to help your child learn. For example, my sister and her friend trade off teaching the subjects they each enjoy best – one does math and science classes for both families, while the other does history and language arts. I have occasionally asked my aunt, a high school math teacher, to help one of my kids when they got stuck on a math problem that was beyond my understanding. 

 

Another resource that may surprise you is the authors or publishers of the textbooks you will use. Many of them are homeschool parents themselves. They welcome questions from students who get stumped or parents who need help using their materials. You will find that the homeschool community has a strong sense of looking out for each other. We want to help each other succeed and are eager to share what we’ve learned from our mistakes, victories, and challenges.

 

5. Community

That brings us to the final need for a homeschooling parent. Now that you have everything in place for your homeschool adventure, you need to find your people. You’ve probably already met a few, or you wouldn’t be here in the first place. Having a strong support system is crucial to successfully homeschooling. Having a supportive spouse is very helpful. Family members that will encourage you, even if they may be warily watching to see how this homeschool “experiment” works out, are a huge bonus. I was very fortunate to have been homeschooled for my last few years of school, so my mother has always been there for me to look to for guidance. Having friends who also homeschool is great for bouncing ideas off each other, fellowship between your families, and simply having someone to share your crazy day with who “gets” it. 

 

NCHE has several ways to help you build your community. To locate support groups near you, look on our community page to find the listings of groups in your county. Our mentor program allows you to speak one-on-one with an experienced and trained veteran homeschool parent. In addition to the fantastic vendor hall I mentioned above, the Thrive! Conference also offers ways to build your community: meet other moms from your area at the regional gatherings or who may share similar circumstances (military, special needs, single parents, new homeschoolers, parents of preschoolers, parents of gifted children, multicultural homeschoolers and homeschooling with a chronic illness at one of the special gatherings. There is also a mentor table at the conference where you can talk with veteran homeschool moms. 

Homeschooling your children is a huge investment of time, effort, and emotions. However, it does not require a large investment of money. If you are like most homeschool parents, you will be surprised at how many things are less necessary than you expected at the onset. One of the best financial investments I can recommend to a homeschool family is membership with NCHE. We work hard to meet each of these five needs of a homeschool parent. Each of our directors is a volunteer with many years of experience homeschooling their children. They have chosen to give back to the homeschool community through their service in our organization. Whether you decide to join today or not, we are here to help you! Please let us know how we can help meet your needs.

 

Jessica Frierson is a second-generation homeschooler. She is married to Ernie, a retired minister. They have been homeschooling their seven sons and three daughters since 2000. She is a speaker and writer. She serves as the secretary for NCHE, writes for GREENHOUSE, and is the lead blogger for the NCHE blog. 

 

Photo credits: library Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash , books photo by Syd Wachs on Unsplash , remember photo by Cristofer Maximilian on Unsplash , pencil and paper photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash