The Secret of Goldilocks

Once upon a time, there was a beloved board book greatly treasured in the Garner home. Four pairs of small hands had left its red spine heavily creased and the edges of the thick pages worn smooth. It was well loved as it passed from child to child, each clamoring for a spot in Momma’s lap as the familiar tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears was read so repeatedly that each of us could quote the entire book by heart. As the years passed, the children grew, we made several moves, and Goldilocks eventually ended up in an unopened box labeled “children’s books.” Deep in a box stacked in the corner of the garage, this childhood treasure was forgotten until a couple of months ago when we undertook the excavation process known as cleaning out the garage. Cutting the tape and lifting the flaps released memories that caught this almost-empty-nester off guard. Upon spotting the bright, familiar cover, my teenager and her three young adult siblings reverted to snatching and shouting for their turn with the book. When curiosity and memories were satisfied, I tucked the toddler-sized book away in hopes that I will read it yet again to another generation of tiny hands.

At this point, you might be wondering what a trio of bears and a girl with golden hair have to do with homeschooling. As you likely recall, this rogue little girl (perhaps a free-range homeschooler out on a field trip) enters the cottage of the three bears and progresses through a series of trial and error activities. Poppa Bear’s porridge was too hot, his rocking chair too fast, and his bed too hard. Momma’s was too cold, too slow, too soft. But Baby Bear’s was just right. As overly simplified as it sounds, those two words are the key to your homeschool: finding what’s just right for your students. Let’s apply this concept to a few areas to illustrate what its application might look like.

The Just Right Daily Schedule
First, consider the schedule in your average homeschool day. Some families create and follow a fairly tight schedule. Often, the day is very structured with specific times assigned to every subject as well as chores, lunch, rest time, and free play. Mom runs a tight ship, the kids know what to expect, and everything is accomplished efficiently. In theory, that was how I wanted my homeschool days to go, but what worked well in theory did not work so well in actuality. It left me feeling stressed out and feeling as if we were constantly “behind.” Gone was the joy and the happy homeschool momma I wanted to be. Why? Because that wasn’t our just right. An older, wiser friend saved my sanity by suggesting I try a routine instead of a schedule. Rather than doing certain tasks at designated times, we simply did the same things in the same order each day, whether our start time was 8:00 am or 10:00 am. This gave me both the structure and flexibility we needed in our school days; it was just right.

The Just Right Annual Schedule
This same idea also applies to the calendar year. In my early homeschool days, I figured out relatively quickly that we needed frequent breaks during the school year. For me, that meant planning our year by using a modified year-round schedule that allowed for six weeks on and one week off and included at least a three-week break at Christmas. Because I also wanted to finish the year by early May, that meant starting our year in late July or early August. Nearly twenty years later, I’m still using that format with my last high-schooler. For us, that’s our just right.

On the other hand, I have a close friend who delays starting the school year as long as possible, and then she simply works through all the weeks nearly back-to-back without much of a break. Still another friend pretty much does school nearly year-round by sprinkling in schoolwork slowly and steadily throughout the days and weeks to accommodate the responsibilities that go along with living on a farm. As you guessed, both my friends find it just right for their needs and goals.

The Just Right Curriculum
Last, consider curriculum choices. I’d be willing to bet most homeschool moms lose the most sleep over choosing and using the materials they need each year. I’ll let you in on a little secret: the perfect curriculum doesn’t exist! So, what’s an overwhelmed momma supposed to do? Like Goldilocks, you might have to try out some options to find which you like best. It is one hundred percent okay to pick something you thought would be great but then realize it’s not what you want or need. As a matter of fact, that’s quite normal in the life of a homeschool mom! Pray for wisdom and direction as you compare and plan, ask friends for recommendations, read reviews, etc. But if you find it’s not your or your students’ just right, don’t be afraid to modify it to meet your needs or ditch it altogether! That is the joy and freedom of homeschooling. Don’t let yourself or your kids get boxed in by what doesn’t work.

I hope that by now, you have caught onto the idea of what just right is and how to find it. However, there’s another little secret you need to know. Just right is not a fixed point; it’s an ever-changing target that moves as children grow into their teenage and young adult years. The good news is that, with practice and patience, your aim will improve as well. Be patient with your students and with yourself.

The day after I unearthed the long-forgotten little red book, I found myself lost in thought as I reflected on my early years of homeschooling. I’m certain some days were long, hard, and frustrating, and I promise I felt like I was doing it wrong most of the time. But what my children and I remember the most are the enjoyable moments we spent on field trips, days spent poolside that we referred to as P.E. class, and the occasional days we “skipped school” to go to the zoo or the beach. As it turns out, those days were just right.